


No One in Space Cares, Anyway

by rockthecliche



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-03
Updated: 2012-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-30 13:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockthecliche/pseuds/rockthecliche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A small bunch of random scenes featuring Star Trek!KAT-TUN. Jin is Kirk, Junno is Scotty, Koki is Bones, Ueda is Uhura, and Maru is Spock. Why should shenanigans be only limited to Earth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One in Space Cares, Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> Because this is what happens when a _somebody_ decides to make a post re: KAT-TUN's new PV and for some reason, Junno is dressed as a medieval peasant/jedi in training.

"ANYONE WANT TO GO TO EROTICON 3? I HEAR THE CHICKS THERE HAVE GOT THREE TITS."

"You know that planet's _not real_ , right?"

"We won't know until we find out!"

"This is inexcusable behavior, I hardly think this is something the _captain of a ship_ should be engaged in --"

"AS LONG AS YOU DON'T MARRY 'EM CAPTAIN. BITCH'LL TAKE EVERYTHING IN THE DIVORCE."

Junno looked over to the side, where the ship's chief communications expert sat, looking incredibly disinterested and bored. Ueda yawned and closed his eyes. Junno giggled and twirled a pen between his fingers as Jin continued to plead with Nakamaru and make the case for Eroticon 3.

Just another day aboard the USS Queen.

 

"Ne, Junno?"

"Hmmm? What is it, Tacchan?"

"What does this mean? It's been beeping in my ear for the past half hour." Ueda pointed at a blinking, quivering wavelength on his screen. Junno wasn't exactly the most versed in the space dialects, but to be part of any crew, everyone had to go through basic training. He tilted his head to the side and peered closely at it, tapped a couple of tabs on the panel's main screen and put Ueda's headset on when the other offered it to him.

"I think it...might have been a Vulcan distress call." Junno considered carefully.

Realization dawned on Ueda's face, a look that Junno normally loved if, well, it hadn't meant that the Vulcan population was in grave danger.

 

"For fuck's sake, we can travel different galaxies and space systems and you can't even change the fucking ringtone on this thing?!"

Koki snickered.

Jin glared at him, then tossed his mass communication device at the back of Junno's head. "Fucking Nokia."

 

"So explain to me again why you decided to launch yourself at Hina, even though he's stocky and has fangs?" Koki asked calmly, examining Nakamaru's face. There was a bruise there, though it should go away in time; swelling was minimal, also, and Koki considered this to be lucky. Or thanked the higher beings that Hina went for a smack and not a kick instead. Beastly legs on that one.

"They were making fun of my mom," Nakamaru replied sourly.

"So? It's not like Jin's never done it before."

"Jin could fire me!" Nakamaru protested, then hissed as his bruise smarted a bit when Koki applied pressure. "Hina and the other six are just...whatever."

"You're an idiot. It's still Hina and the other six against you." Koki scoffed, applying the bandage, then smacked it once he was done. "Use your brain, brain."

 

"I THOUGHT I SAID I NEEDED SOMEONE WITH HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT TRAINING!" Jin screeched as he ran away from a rogue Sehlat, once the mission on Vulcan was tidied up (mostly by Hina and the other six) and reported (by Massu, who thanked him profusely for the cameratime).

"Ueda refused to come!" Junno beamed, and no sooner had the words left his mouth, he flipped himself into a series of back-handsprings, forward tucks, flips, and dips, landing squarely in front of the Sehlat, bringing a metal pipe down on its head. As the Sehlat fell to the floor, dazed and knocked out, Junno straightened and posed, flipped his hair over his shoulder, eyes disappearing and the corners crinkling as he smiled, pleased with himself.

Koki rolled his eyes. "Still would've been cooler with the katana."


End file.
